We all receive many opinions from others about how we should live our life and the kind of decisions that we should be making every day. Some are good, uplifting and encouraging. Some are offered with good intentions of others but do not fit well within our goals and agendas that we have for our lives. And some are provided with negativity, narrow minded points of views and in some cases destructive, coming from the point of lack, scarcity and jealousy of the providers.
Dr. Seuss gave us the simple answer when we were kids but somehow we tend to forget it as we grow up;
“Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter” (Also known as originally quoted by B. Baruch).
Milk other’s opinions when provided positively and allow them to be the wind under your wings if you choose to apply them. Examine the others opinions that may be good advice but may not be applicable to your life and goals and choose wisely knowing that the choice is yours.
Finally, do not give attention to the negative opinion of others since it generally comes from their personal view of “lack” and “fear” independent from what may be applicable to you. Not giving attention and not allowing that opinion to disturb us may be more difficult at times. Mainly, because most of us have not developed the strength that acting independently from opinion of others may require.
Why is it that the things that others say or do still bother us? Well, the answer may be simple. You cannot give away something that you do not have. In a way, it is impossible to react to something if it does not have anything internally that can harmonize with it positively or negatively to trigger a reaction. External act of love to others require internal recognition of love within. External act of retaliation with physical action or without it creating internal turmoil still requires some internal recognition otherwise we will have no reaction other than observation.
When we see an act of love and compassion we cry because something inside has recognized that similarity that creates the combustion of overwhelming reaction of crying. Similarly, when we hear a negative comment of someone’s opinion we react only when there is something inside triggering that doubt.
Here is a simple clearing method that may be useful in assisting to clear your mind from others negative opinions and self-defeating thoughts. Repeat to yourself when needed; “Take Out The Trash” (From The Book – Peaceful Warrior). Then, imagine that you are actually removing that thought like a trash and throw it away in a fashion that is familiar to you as being thrown away. Try to detach physically from it as you send it out of your mind to be carried away and eventually disappearing and burnt in a far away incinerator.
Our freedom and individual development and growth starts when we learn and are satisfied to enjoy life by accomplishing our goals liberated from the judgment of others. Once we shift our focus from opinion of others to our self-development we see beauty in everything independent from the distortion offered by others stemmed from their insecurities.
“Be independent of the good opinion of other people” – (A. Maslow)
Alex Abossein, InnerFit, Oasis For Perfect Health